Stupid things people say

I found this posted on the MBFOM Facebook group the other day and totally laughed when I read it.  For most of the comments, I could sympathize as my twins are only closing in on 6 months, but we're out and about a lot and I get these questions all the time.  I have added my own commentary in bold beside the original article.

Parents of twins face a special brand of stupid comments, delightfully all their own. Three friends, all moms of twins, recently gave me some keen insight from the frontlines. I've compiled their comments into a special list:

The Top 15 Stupid Things People Say to Parents of Twins
15. "I could never do it." (Oh really. What would you do? Are you suggesting I put them on the curb with signs around their necks that say, "Free to a good home. My mom can't do it"?)  On a day like today, I think putting the kids on the curb is a good idea.  Oh yeah, and if I don't do it, I'll have CFS breathing down my neck.  My world isn't perfect and neither are my children, but we get by every day and sometimes we even have a lot of fun.

14. "Do they have different personalities?" (No. They are the same human being divided into two parts.)  

13. Said by a stranger, "They're identical, right?" Mom answers, "No. They're fraternal." Stranger response, "They are NOT!" (OK. You're right. I have no idea what I'm talking about. These are not my children. I thought it would be fun to borrow them from a mom down at Baby Gap. It's been more than an hour. I guess I should return them.)  

12. "Are they 'paternal' twins?" (Yes. They have a father. There was only one virgin birth.)

11. "Just wait till they're older. It only gets harder." (Thank you. I woke up this morning hoping I'd receive a word of discouragement while pushing a cart of preschoolers down the cereal aisle.)  I find this one funny, because every mother of multiples has told me that it gets easier.  I'm pretty sure you're not living my life right now and you actually have no clue how hard it currently is so mind your own business.

10. "When one cries, does he wake the other?" (No. Twins cannot hear each other's cries because they all communicate with their special telepathic language only.)  We are actually lucky in this regard, although we get the question regularly.  The babies usually sleep through the other one crying and they share a room.

9. From a perfect stranger: "Were they in the same sac?" (Hello. Nice to meet you, too. Will you be sharing your gynecological history with me as well?) 

8. "Are they developmentally behind?" (Well, let's see. They're 3 years old and thus far, all their graduate school applications have been denied. We'll get back with you on that.)  If someone ever asks me this, they will regret it.  

7. "How do you do it?" (Haven't you seen the Nike commercials?)  My response is, "You just do.  You don't have a choice."  If you don't....see #1 about CFS.

6. Said by a dentist: "I was shocked that they didn't have the same bite patterns." (They are two different human beings, not clones.)

5. "You must be so busy." (Are you volunteering to clean my house?)  Nope, all I do during the day is sit around and drink coffee and eat bon bons.  This is usually said to me while I'm shopping and I usually want to answer by saying, "Yes I am, now can you please leave me alone?  I'm shopping with three kids two and under and I don't know when the shit is going to hit the fan."

4. Said to a mom of fraternal twins who are different sizes, have different eye color and different face structure: "How do you tell them apart?" (I just look at them.)   For me, mine are also different genders so if I was really that confused, which I'm not because they look so different, I would just open the diaper.  

3. "What do you do when they both cry at the same time?" (Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I go to Starbucks.)  Sometimes I ignore them.  I also realize that I cannot meet the needs of three children at the same time all the time so sometimes someone is unhappy.  For the most part, they are good though.

2. Said to a mom of boy/girl twins: "Are they identical?" (Uh. Not exactly.)  This is my most frustrating one.  Usually after I've just said it's a boy and a girl (or Mara is clearly dressed in pink and Davin in a boy outfit), they ask me if they're identical.  I bite my tongue and say no, but what I really want to say is, "take a second and think about what you just said."  I'm sure if I said that they would think and then I would see the look on their face as they realized what a stupid question this was. 

1. Only one comment could be voted No. 1. The choice was clear. Drum roll, please. After a stranger had been informed that the toddler boys were twins, she asked a simple question: "Are they brothers?" (Enough said.)  I haven't had anything quite that stupid, but I do get asked if Davin and Mara are twins all the time.  I feel like telling them that I didn't have enough on my plate with a two year old and a baby, so I thought I'd borrow someone else's baby to go do my shopping with.  I may be crazy, but not that crazy.

Let's be honest. People are fascinated with twins. They don't mean to say stupid things. It just happens. It happens to all of us. Saying stupid things is one activity that joins us all together as human beings. Learn to forgive the frailties of others and enjoy the laughs later. Life is a journey. Enjoy the double-stroller roller coaster ride! 

Once again, this is unrelated, but I will include these cute pictures to remind me of the good times while I'm having a bad day.