After the first day, I realized that I made the right choice and I truly do love my job. I was super happy and flying high after that day. As the last two weeks have gone on, I've settled in at work (as much as a Phys Ed teacher can settle in, there's always a billion things going on), but I've also felt very overwhelmed and like my wheels are spinning. I'm teaching two sections of Phys Ed and two sections of Family Studies. I'm finding prepping for the new course to be challenging, as it's not where my heart is, although I do enjoy certain aspects of the course. The first week back, we were hosting conference volleyball playoffs so we were run off our feet and I put it two really long nights. Last week marked the beginning of basketball season, which means I'm going to be out for some portion of the evening at least 4 nights a week.
I had a basketball meeting Thursday after work and I was feeling extreme guilt that day about not being home and spending a lot of time with the kiddos. I got home about 6:15, 15 minutes before the twins' bed time and had the best time. I kept them up a little later so I could enjoy them and it was well worth it. The kids were all happy to see me, climbing on me, laughing, giving hugs and kisses (Davin and Mara both took a step!). For half an hour, I truly enjoyed my children without any interruptions. After feeling ridiculous amounts of guilt, I realized that I shouldn't stress about it. That half an hour was more enjoyable and had more quality than some days on mat leave when I was just struggling to get through the day.
Unfortunately, guilt comes with the job of being a parent. In some ways, I'm sure it makes us better parents, as it keeps us accountable, but I think we also need to keep it in check and to not let us be overcome with guilt too often.
People have also asked me how I get everything done and the answer is that I don't. First of all, I have an extremely helpful and supportive husband and that helps a lot. Secondly, I'm ok that not everything is done. Sometimes it kind of drives me crazy, but I'd rather go outside and play with the kids or decorate for Christmas than fold laundry. On that note, there are probably four loads of laundry that are sitting in the laundry room waiting to be folded and put away. I'll get to it tomorrow, and if I don't oh well. My kids are clean and they have clean clothes, so what if they're not folded. Life is about priorities and spending time with my children is way more important than a little bit of dirt or some folded laundry.
Oh yeah, and the exhaustion. I don't even know what to say about that. I'm beyond exhausted. I get up at 5:45 and I don't stop till at least 9:30 most nights.
In the end, I know everything that needs to get done will get done and life will go on if some things don't get taken care of right away.
On another note, we had pictures taken back on August 9th and we just go them back.....don't ask. I have included a couple here. I have also included one from the twins' newborn shoot to compare from when they were born. We also did a cake smash session a couple weeks ago with our friend Robin and I will be including those in my next post ( www.robinmarchadourphotography.com ). How much they've changed since August!
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| August 9th, 2012 (twins 8 months old) |
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| December 11th, 2011 (twins 6 days old) |
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| Daddy's little girl! |
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| Our beautiful big girl |
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