Blah!

Right now I feel like parenting is one long roller coaster.  There are some crazy ups and some crazy downs and you never quite know how long any of them are going to last.  I'm someone who is totally fine with not having every minute planned.  I'm also good at rolling with the punches and flying by the seat of my pants, but sometimes it's nice to know how things are going to go.

I'm amazed that one minute I can be so irritated with one, two, or all of my children and then in a second something changes and I love being a parent again.  I find the mornings to be a little chaotic in our house, but it's also a happy time and I time when I look at my kids as they eat and enjoy it.  This morning I was enjoying the moment and thankful for the new start every day.  Lately, Jayna pulls her chair right next to Mara's when she eats.  It's super cute that she wants to be with her sister.  Jayna was announcing that she was rubbing her back and that Mara was burping.  She makes me giggle.  And then 15 minutes later, we are in the van and she says to Mara, "It's my song, stop listening!"  Derrick and I just laughed at how ridiculous it was.  I'm pretty sure that we both realized in that moment that we are in trouble for the next 18 years.

I feel as though I've struggled this week.  It's been a blah week.  I haven't felt like doing much and the kids have been a lot fussier than they usually are, so I've been very annoyed by that.  I think that part of my blah feeling is stress related.  I worry a lot about when I go back to work, which is in three weeks.  I'm so excited to go back and laugh every day and have quality time with my little ones, but at the same time, I worry about making it all work.  I just keep reminding myself that I can't be everything to everyone all the time.  I know that it will all work out and that we will find a groove.  I also know it will be fine because I have a very supportive husband who is a great dad.  I am also ok with my kids spending a lot of time in the gym as they grow up (there are worse places they could be).

Another part of me really hopes we win the lottery tonight and then I would have to stress about different things, which I'm sure I'd be ok with!

I was just talking to a friend yesterday and we were discussing all of the things we would like to do around our houses.  We both realized they will take a while to happen and we were good with that.  We both have three healthy kids, great husbands and a roof over our heads, as well as supportive friends and family.  In the end, we have more than a lot of people do and we are very fortunate.  I guess I'll learn to love my original kitchen cupboards and enjoy the small things!

In the end, I've decided to look at my week this way.....it was a low on the roller coaster and there isn't anywhere to go but up.  Next week is a new week and I will be productive!  I'm looking forward to a great weekend.