A weekend of being a single mom

I actually wrote this on April 5th and was going to make changes, but didn't.  Here is the post.....a few months late.

Yet again, it's been a long time since I've posted anything.  Life has been crazy with coaching and working.  Basketball has been done for a few weeks now, so it's been nice to have more time with the family.  The thing I'm missing right now is spring!!!!!!

I keep saying that everyone in our house will be a lot happier once we can actually go outside.  I long for the days when we can feed the kids and then go for a walk or take a picnic to the park and have them play.  It's easy, yet good parenting and makes us all a whole lot more pleasant. 

Derrick is away this weekend in Calgary for his best friend's stag.  I'm definitely jealous of him being able to get away for the weekend and live the bachelor life (3 times in six months actually, must be nice!).  It's a good thing he has a great wife.

I'm planning on taking the kids to the zoo tomorrow.  I'm reallly hoping that the weather cooperates, otherwise I feel as though my house will be the zoo.  We will visit my parents tomorrow and take a friend up on their offer for dinner as well.  Sunday we will hang out with Derrick's family and then head home to get ready for the week.

The little ones will definitely be excited to see Derrick on Monday morning.  I will be excited to see him Sunday evening. 

On the topic of the kids, we have entered a new stage of crazy.  All three are running all over the house, stealing toys (sometimes sharing, which is cute), hitting each other, as well as wrestling (usually Davin and Jayna actually).  The girls have had some fun playing in the puddles.  Davin will not walk in shoes or boots.  We have tried shoes on in the house and he loses his mind.  This usually results in Mara wanting to wear them and then she runs around the house looking so proud.  On Easter weekend, Davin stayed planted in one spot for half an hour as Mara and Jayna played up and down the street.  We didn't realize until this moment that he was that stubborn. 

I'm hoping that I can now be more consistent in updating the blog as I do enjoy it!! 

Routine

People keep asking me how it is being back at work and how we do it?

It definitely is nuts with the three little ones and being in the middle of coaching basketball.  This means that I'm gone by 6:20am Monday and Wednesday mornings and Derrick has to do the morning thing on his own with the three kids.  Tuesdays I usually get home in time to put Jayna to bed, but I miss Mara and Davin.  Thursdays I usually don't see any of them except for a short bit in the morning.

On a typical evening, we get home at 5:00, make dinner and feed the turkeys quickly.  If they are happy, they get a short amount of time to play before we stick them in their seats for dinner.  Once they are done, they get a little bit of play time and then it's off to get ready for bed.  On bath nights, they usually go right from their booster seats to the tub for  quick bath and then get ready for bed.  We have  a system, I bathe the kids and Derrick dries and dresses them for bed.

Now comes the interesting part.  I haven't been as diligent in regards to reading stories to Mara and Davin before bed as we were with Jayna.  The main reason for this is that they don't sit during this time.  I try to make them sit on my lap, but they just end up crawling off or continuously trying to climb me as high as they can.  They also move about the room and try to empty as many drawers as they can and sometimes wresting or hitting each other is also involved during this supposedly calming time before they head to sleep.  I usually (like tonight) enjoy this time, but sometimes I just don't feel like being a jungle gym, so I don't do it.

So now it's 6:30 and it's just us and Jayna and we feel like we can now take a breath.  Since the twins were born, we've tried very hard to make sure this time is about Jayna and we get some quality time with her.  Right now she's really into colouring so we'll usually colour with her.  Sometimes we cuddle and watch a movie.  My favourite part of the night is crawling into bed with Jayna and reading her stories before she hits the sack.

It's now 7:30 and this is the time I struggle with the most.  My house is a disaster and I feel like doing absolutely nothing.  I (almost) always do the dishes and make sure I have a clean kitchen.  Most evenings I try to do one little thing to make the house look a little better than it does, but sometimes I don't.  As I've stated before, I've come to terms with the fact that my house will never be immaculate.

Most evenings, I don't get to sit and "do nothing" until 9:00-9:30, and I wonder why I don't go to sleep before 11:00.  Once again, I know that this is short lived and there will come a day when I will long for this craziness.  In the meantime, we just laugh.

So this is how we "do it" from day to day.  It's not pretty, but everyone survives to see another day!

It's been a while

I knew I hadn't written anything for a while, but I didn't realize it had been over a month.  I haven't written anything for two reasons....one, I haven't had a whole lot of time and two, I didn't really think I had anything too interesting to say.

I've been back at work since November 5th and people keep asking me how it is.  My answer is always...Crazy!  My job is definitely not one where I sit at a desk all day.  As a Phys Ed teacher, you're constantly on the go, kinda like my home life.  I'm also right in the thick of basketball season (which is actually going really well....3-0 so far and ranked 5th in the province!), so that means that two mornings a week, I'm gone just after 6 am to be at school for a 7 am practice and Derrick is on his own with the kids in the morning.  Two other days a week, I'm not home till later in the evening because of a practice or a game, which means Derrick is also on his own.  I'm so thankful to have a super supportive husband, because I couldn't do it without his support.

I remember a conversation I had with a colleague in my first year at my current school.  Derrick and I had just gotten married that summer and were in the midst of deciding whether or not to have children.  My colleague was also a basketball coach and I mentioned that one of the reasons I was considering not having children is because I wanted to coach and children would get in the way.  He proceeded to tell me that it didn't make that big of a difference and that you just work around things.  I looked at him and reminded him that he is the father and I'm the mother.  I had a pregnancy to go through as well as maternity leave and also the expectation that the mother is around most of the time.  His response, "oh, I never thought of that."

Obviously, we decided to have children and I'm glad to say that I'm still able to coach.  I have only missed one full season, last year because the twins were born right at the beginning.

Three weeks ago, Davin had a hypospadias repair surgery.  Here's a link to explain what that is...beware, there is a picture of a penis.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypospadias  I'm happy to report that he is doing well and was awesome after surgery.

Also, Christmas came and went.  What a whirlwind three days that was.  It was super fun because Jayna finally "got it".  I can't even imagine what next year is going to be like when the twins kind of understand what's going on and Jayna's even more excited.  This Christmas made me realize how much parents lie to their children.  I felt awful on many occasions, such as when I had to explain Ace (Elf on the Shelf) going away.  We had told Jayna that she would get to say goodbye to him and on Christmas Eve we got sidetracked and forgot.  Christmas morning, in the van, Jayna started talking about wanting to say goodbye to Ace.  We told her that if she said goodbye right now, he would hear her from the North Pole.  Derrick and I looked at each other with that look of feeling guilty for having to lie.  Oh well, I guess that's just part of the magic of Christmas.

Davin is a walking machine and is almost running.  He rarely crawls anymore.  Mara is walking a lot more as well and she is a master at climbing up on the couch.  Now we're just worried about her climbing other things.

I hope everyone had a great holiday and is settling into the new year.  I will hopefully be posting more often and making the time to include more pictures and videos.  I do have a few ideas for some posts.  Oh, and I can't believe that I'm going to have to change my description of my blog soon to state that I have a 3 year old :(

Dreaded sickness

We started the weekend with Davin having a random puke.  This was definitely not a Mother of the Year moment.  At 5:30 am I thought I heard Mara throwing up, so I went and checked.  She was fine, so I left the room.  Yes, when I entered the room, I thought I smelled the distinct smell, but I never thought to check Davin because I thought I heard Mara.  Three hours later, I went to get him out of his crib and realized he had been laying in his vomit for the last three hours.  I felt horrible, but I guess he couldn't have felt that bad since he fell back to sleep.  I don't know why I didn't think to check him....oh well, it was done.

On Saturday, we had a multiples Christmas party, which was a lot of fun and then the Sheldon get together, which was also a good time.  Everyone was fine.  Sunday was a great day as well.  We finished by having a family dance party, baths, and then Jayna and I decorated a gingerbread house when the twins were in bed.  I commented to Derrick that days like this made it easy to be parents.  We both agreed.

And then it was 12:45 am and Jayna let out a scream.  I realized when I opened the door that she was throwing up.  Thank goodness Derrick was there to deal with the mess as I dealt with Jayna.  This happened a few more times over the next couple hours, so needless to say I'm at home with Jayna today.  There aren't many things that are worse than watching your kid get sick and not be able to make them feel better.  I was very proud of myself, since I don't deal well with puke, but you just suck it up when it's your own child.  Despite being sick, Jayna was still her independent self and had to put her nighty on "all by myself".  That made me laugh.  

I haven't mentioned that she missed the bus ride to the mall to see Santa.  She seems much better, thank goodness, but then Derrick came home around 9:30 and he was sick.  He's been in bed sleeping ever since.  Hopefully the twins manage to by pass it and I'm hoping that my Giesbrecht stomach of steel holds up.  My JV girls have their first game tomorrow and I need to be there.  I already missed practice this morning, which I feel terrible about, but that's life.  

I'm also trying to mentally prepare myself for Davin's surgery next Thursday.  I know he'll be fine, but no mother wants to see their child in pain.  I'm assuming the recovery part of the surgery will be the worst.  I've heard from other mothers whose boys have had the procedure, that they act as though nothing happened afterwards.  He will get an afternoon with just mom and the following day all by himself with Gramma!  I know she's looking forward to the cuddles, since she never sees Davin by himself.

On a happy note, I have loved this Christmas season so much.  It's been a lot of fun already.  It really is so much better with kids.  Jayna has been amazing this year and we still have a couple more weeks to get some other activities done with her as well.

I hope everyone else is having a great holiday season and enjoying their friends and family.

We survived the first year!!!!

WE DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've felt very overwhelmed with emotions today as I remember being thrust into the world of parenting multiples a year ago today.  I started by feeling guilty because Mara and Davin were still sleeping because I had to get to practice for 7.  While driving to work, I felt sad because my babies are no longer  babies (Davin walked as much as he crawled at daycare today!).  I also didn't want to put them to bed tonight because it would be the end of their first birthday and we will never experience that with our children again.

I vividly remember the moment they handed me Mara and Davin and I looked down at them and wondered, "what the hell am I supposed to do with two of them?"  There were many smiles, laughs, as well as moments of me snapping along the way, but overall, it has been a great year.

Is it weird that I think of the last year as the hardest thing I've ever done, but also when I look back, I think, "ah, it wasn't that bad"?

We could never have survived this year with our marriage intact and healthy without our amazing friends and family.  Thanks to everyone.

The overwhelming feeling for  me is the emotions I feel about Derrick and I.  From the moment we found out we were having twins, I knew we'd be fine, but I didn't think we would actually be better now than we were a year ago.  We have definitely had our moments, but we always worked it out.  I couldn't do it without a super supportive husband who is also an amazing father.  Thanks honey!

I've seen some slide shows and videos that people have made of their child's first year.  I thought about doing that, and then laughed, because I don't have the time to do that right now.  I'm sure I could pull it together, but it wouldn't be as nice as I'd like to it be and that would bother me even more.

Instead, here are a few pictures from throughout the year.

Ever changing

Lately, I can't help but be thinking about where we were a year ago.  For example, this morning we were all in the living room/dining room and I was watching the kids play and thinking about how a year ago, we were still a family of three.  At that moment I was remembering when it was a lot quieter and less hectic.  At the same time, I wouldn't change the never ending craziness for anything.

A year ago, I was sooo uncomfortable and wanted these babies out, but at the same time I was super scared of what that would mean.  I was worried about being able to care for the twins, and I was really worried about how Jayna would react to the new additions.  Fortunately, Jayna could not have been a better big sister.  She was usually pretty gentle and she loved the babies from the start.  Almost a year later and she is still super helpful and just adores her brother and sister.  She is always proud to tell people they are her Mara and Davin when we are out.

I've heard many multiple parents say that the first couple years are a blur and I can completely understand.  I just said to Derrick last night that I know that there were many rough days and it seemed like the end of the world at the time, but looking back now, it could have been so much worse.  Both of our children were healthy, born after 38 weeks, and all around pretty good kids.  Life could have been a lot rougher, as it is for some other families.

In 11 days we will be waking up the babies and saying happy birthday.  I can't believe how much life has changed in that year.  As much as I know their birthday is about them, I don't really see it that way. For some reason, I see a bigger picture and I feel as though it's a celebration for Derrick and I, since we have survived the first year.  There is no doubt in my mind that if we did have a good relationship, we would no longer be together at this point.  I would venture to say that our relationship is actually better than it was before.

Part of me is always a little sad when we see the last of the firsts in our house, yet at the same time, I'm so happy we never have to go through the newborn stage again.  Last night, Davin was a walking machine.  It has yet to be replicated today, but I'm sure he will and I will hopefully get some video.

Well, off to play with the kids and hope the aren't too intrigued by the Christmas tree we put up downstairs last night.

And as promised, here are some pictures from their cake smash done by Robin Marchadour (www.robinmarchadourphotography.com).  We are once again so happy with the product.  What a talent you are Robin.  Thank you so much for giving us amazing pictures of our babes as newborns and now a year later!!!  You always surpass our expectations and we get so many compliments.  

Working Mama

I've just completed my second week of work and everyone keeps asking me how it is.  I'm not sure quite what to say.  I thought motherhood was a giant roller coaster of emotions, but I seem to be on an even bigger roller coaster for the last two weeks.  Anyone who knows me, knows that I was really excited to go back to work.  One of the reasons is that I know that I don't have it in me to be a stay at home mom.  Other reasons were that I love my job, I love feeling like I'm a part of something bigger, I love the social aspect of working (my department is amazing and super fun), and I was looking forward to missing the twins and have quality time (vs quantity).

After the first day, I realized that I made the right choice and I truly do love my job.  I was super happy and flying high after that day.  As the last two weeks have gone on, I've settled in at work (as much as a  Phys Ed teacher can settle in, there's always a billion things going on), but I've also felt very overwhelmed and like my wheels are spinning.  I'm teaching two sections of Phys Ed and two sections of Family Studies.  I'm finding prepping for the new course to be challenging, as it's not where my heart is, although I do enjoy certain aspects of the course.  The first week back, we were hosting conference volleyball playoffs so we were run off our feet and I put it two really long nights.  Last week marked the beginning of basketball season, which means I'm going to be out for some portion of the evening at least 4 nights a week.

I had a basketball meeting Thursday after work and I was feeling extreme guilt that day about not being home and spending a lot of time with the kiddos.  I got home about 6:15, 15 minutes before the twins' bed time and had the best time.  I kept them up a little later so I could enjoy them and it was well worth it.  The kids were all happy to see me, climbing on me, laughing, giving hugs and kisses (Davin and Mara both took a step!).  For half an hour, I truly enjoyed my children without any interruptions.  After feeling ridiculous amounts of guilt, I realized that I shouldn't stress about it.  That half an hour was more enjoyable and had more quality than some days on mat leave when I was just struggling to get through the day.

Unfortunately, guilt comes with the job of being a parent.  In some ways, I'm sure it makes us better parents, as it keeps us accountable, but I think we also need to keep it in check and to not let us be overcome with guilt too often.

People have also asked me how I get everything done and the answer is that I don't.  First of all, I have an extremely helpful and supportive husband and that helps a lot.  Secondly, I'm ok that not everything is done.  Sometimes it kind of drives me crazy, but I'd rather go outside and play with the kids or decorate for Christmas than fold laundry.  On that note, there are probably four loads of laundry that are sitting in the laundry room waiting to be folded and put away.  I'll get to it tomorrow, and if I don't oh well.  My kids are clean and they have clean clothes, so what if they're not folded.  Life is about priorities and spending time with my children is way more important than a little bit of dirt or some folded laundry.

Oh yeah, and the exhaustion.  I don't even know what to say about that.  I'm beyond exhausted.  I get up at 5:45 and I don't stop till at least 9:30 most nights.

In the end, I know everything that needs to get done will get done and life will go on if some things don't get taken care of right away.

On another note, we had pictures taken back on August 9th and we just go them back.....don't ask.  I have included a couple here.  I have also included one from the twins' newborn shoot to compare from when they were born.  We also did a cake smash session a couple weeks ago with our friend Robin and I will be including those in my next post ( www.robinmarchadourphotography.com ).  How much they've changed since August!

August 9th, 2012 (twins 8 months old)

December 11th, 2011 (twins 6 days old)

Daddy's little girl!

Our beautiful big girl